Time to think

I was at work today, a reasonably quiet day - so more time to spend with people individually and do what a nurse should do. i was asked to watch a short film and read the poem that was the commentary for it. It made me think that I should think more often.

Look Closer
by Phyllis McCormack

What do you see nurse? What do you see?
Are you thinking when you’re looking at me,
A crabbit old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit with faraway eyes;
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice, “I do wish you’d try.”
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe;
Who quite unresisting, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill;
Is that what you’re thinking, is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, you’re not looking at me.
I’ll tell you who I am as I sit here so still;
As I move at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters who love one another;
A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she’ll meet.
A bride soon at twenty, my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep;
At twenty-five now I have young of my own
Who need me to build a secure, happy home;
A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At forty, my young sons will soon all be gone,
But my man is beside me to see I don’t mourn;
At fifty, once more babies play round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me;
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread;
For my young are all busy with young of their own
And I think of the years and the love that I’ve known;
I’m an old woman now and nature is cruel,
‘Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool;
The body it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells,
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
I’m loving and living life over again;
I think of the years all too few, gone too fast
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, open and see
Not a crabbit old woman, look closer - SEE ME.